Always sometimes

October 7, 2016 A long time ago, He bought a cheap cake carrier from a dollar store and gave it to Her saying, "If you ever need to take a cake somewhere, you can take it in this so you don't have to worry about getting it back."

Recently, Her made a birthday cake for some friends that came to our house. When they left, Her put the cake into the cake carrier. and said, "[Him], you're always thinking sometimes!"

Correct Thyself

June 8, 2015 Often, Him does something stupid and Her says something like "hey, don't do that stupid thing," which is perfectly reasonable. However, sometime when the moon is just right and the planets are in alignment, Her will do something stupid and Him gets a chance to say "hey, don't do that stupid thing."

That happened recently. Her's response was, "I'd get away with stuff if it weren't for me."

Fratellination

January 26, 2014 Her: [after laughing while re-reading old fratellies.com] I'm going to pee my pants but I just peed and I'm not wearing any pants!

Anal Retention

January 26, 2014 Her: I got a 12 out of 12 on my exam. You make fun of me for being anal, but this time it paid off!

Him: I wasn't making fun of you. There's nothing wrong with being anal in the right place.

[pause]

[laughter from both of them]

Fractal fratellies

March 25, 2012 After reading the description, aloud, of what fratellies are, Her said, "I'd never heard that word till then."

Him: That's why it's a fratellie!

Lucas Revisted

March 25, 2012 Him: What was that song that was playing on the radio when the alarm went off? "Too rich, too poor, too black, too white?"

Her: You mean STP? [Stone Temple Pilots]

Him: Yeah.

Her: I don't know. I didn't hear it. Let me think. [pause] "I'm a curmudgeon."

Him: Oh, that's right. Their song titles never have anything to do with the song's lyrics.

Her: No, that's not it. I just made that up.

Him: Wow. It's "Lucas McKraken" all over again!

[Editor's note: The song title is "Cumbersome."]

Say anything

March 18, 2012 Her: [describing the management of a previous employer] They give conflicting information and then they change it.

Coming or going?

March 18, 2012 Her: Did we grab the newspaper?

Him: Yes.

Her: Before or after we left the house?

Him: [laughter] Do I really need to answer that?

Favorite Pair

May 18, 2011 We went to a private wine tasting hosted by a wine writer for a local newspaper. It was our first time being there. There were about 20 people total. Each wine was paired with some small portion of food like rosemary cashews, cheese, bruchetta, small steak slices, dessert, that sort of thing.

Much to the delight of the man she was sitting next to, this was the conversation towards the end:

Host: What was everyone's favorite pairing tonight?

Her: Nuts!!!

I Just Can't Know

May 12, 2011 While not quite one of ours, a famous line of her brother from when he was a young child was:

I just can't know!

I'm including it here because now we say it to each other.

Earwhats?

March 23, 2011 Him [driving in car]: Ah-chooo! (big sneeze)

Her: Ow! You hurt my earballs!

Every Day is Today!

March 9, 2011 While driving down the street, we saw a fish market that was advertising their wares on a sandwhich board outside the shop. Among the "crabs" and "shrimp" signs was one that said "Fish Fry Every Day." To which Her turned to Him and said,

Her: Do you want to try a fish fry every day one day?

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

March 9, 2011 Her: I said oh crap because I didn't know what time it was because I didn't know what time it was before I said oh crap.

-October 2, 2008 at 8:45pm

The Forgotten Past

March 9, 2011 Her: I remembered something else, but I don't remember what it was.

I Was Keeping You Down

February 15, 2010 Him is lying on the couch. His head is in Her lap. She is holding the cat brush in her hand when She starts pressing down on His neck with Her elbow.

Him: Oww! Stop trying to leverage yourself up with your elbow in my neck.

Her: I wasn't trying to leverage myself up, I was tying to keep you down. Ready?

She immediately runs the cat brush through His hair, which must have hurt like a sonofabitch.

Him: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her:

Multi-Dimensional Eyes

February 10, 2010 On Christmas morning, Him and Her were opening their presents. When it was Her turn, She got a brand new cake pan of a three-dimensional snowman. A front half and a back half that you bake and then cement together with frosting to make a snowman that stands up. You can get one for yourself at Amazon. Upon unwrapping the box, the conversation went like this:

Her: It's in two dee! It's in two dee!!!

Him: (something that I don't remember about "it might be in three dee, too")

Her (very excited about the new pan): Oh, I'm having a cornea!!

Him: A cornea? You're having a cornea?

Her: Yah, I'm having a cornea (because it's in two dee).

Him: Well then, have two.

Lucas

February 8, 2010 Him: Who sings this song?

Her: You know that singer, what's his name? Lucas McCraken.

Him: I've never heard of him.

Her: Me either. I just made that name up!

Editor's Note: There may be a Lucas McCraken out there, and he may be a singer, but the song in question was a popular song by a well-known singer and was definitely not Lucas McCraken.

What's This?

February 2, 2010 At a rented vacation apartment in Belize, him and her go out for the day. When they return, there is a very long extension cord plugged into the outlet next to the kitchen sink and heading out the kitchen window.

Her: I wonder what this is for?

Him: I don't know.

She walks over to the window and, before her final step has completed, unplugs the extension cord.

A few dozen yards away at the establishment's bar, the band that has been warming up for tonight's party is suddenly no longer heard through the speakers...

Wrong Things

February 2, 2010 "I say the wrong things for the things I want to say."

Itchy

February 2, 2010 Her: I don't know why I'm so itchy.

Him: You forgot the "B."

Her (after a pause): I don't know why I be so itchy.